the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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