is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
