That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
