Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
