Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
