Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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