yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And then my night got REAL pukey
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