you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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