apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
