so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
