tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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