Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
