if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
