well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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