last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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