If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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