I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
