Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
