yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
