whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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