He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
