just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
