Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
