Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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