so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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