I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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