can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
