Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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