Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
