I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
