All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
