No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
