I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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