so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
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