he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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