i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
