I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
