It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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