drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
