Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
