When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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