one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dick very happy bro
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