We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
