My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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