Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
