I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
