would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
