I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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