New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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