Ambien. No doubt about it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
