I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
