nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
