i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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