We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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