You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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