is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
